Failure is spelled with U and I

And I'm back in action. Sort of, I guess, as I plan to only post some nutty links, none of which I bothered to verify. If they are real, then Lord Almighty have Mercy upon us poor Sinners. If they're fake, giggle!

First up, this cannot possibly be real (right?), but it's very well done.

Okay, this is real, and not all that amusing, I guess. Or it sort of is, in a really fucked up, sad, "what were those people thinking" kind of way. Also, proves that the internet is just very dangerous for people whose parents can also call each other cousin.

I don't care if this is real, the woman writes a gripping tale, I can totally picture it. She reminds me of my mother, except that she can't type, or tell a coherent story, and she totally wouldn't have gotten away with doing this because my brother and I were brats, and also I'm sure e-bay would confuse her even more than it does me (I get confused in supermarkets and IKEA, and apparantly that applies to the virtual ones as well). Okay, she's nothing like my mother, but still, pretty funny.

Hmm. I seem to have some time left.

Toodoodoo... what to write about, hmmm.

Oeh!

I'm not a big fan of Corbin Fisher!

For those who don't know it, Corbin Fisher is a guy who used to do porn (right? Or did I get my facts mixed up?) and now he runs this succesful porn site. It's basically the same deal as Sean Cody: poor video quality, guys whacking off while talking to the camera guy or two guys talking to the camera guy before they do it (or more than two guys, same principle) and they are always in the same goddamn bedroom, which might as well be Sean Cody's bedroom, because they all look the same and the sheets have this greyish colour which seems to me would totally show cumstains so it doesn't make any sense (yes, I watch porn and I'm concerned about why they picked sheets that show cumstains, I do not know the meaning of 'brain turned off'. Not sober anyway. And only rarely drunk). Sometimes they'll be in a home gym and work out before they diddle each other on the push-up bench and I'm sure that's supposed to be all sexy. During their little introductory talk they'll always be telling us, the viewer, how they're really just gym buddies and "have never done this kind of thing before" and how they are "really nervous, coz dude, I never had a guy suck my cock" and about two seconds after that they're taking that cock so far up their chute it's in danger of getting lost and like, I know I didn't lose my anal virginity under the best of circumstances (no Tim, you're not allowed to tell in the comments, you bastard! Benjamin doesn't read English, does he? Whatever), but still, most unconvincing devirgination ever (read this in the tone of the Comic Book Guy, btw, saw the movie, not bad, nowhere near great). Anyway, I find Corbin Fisher videos really boring, can't help it, bad video quality, bad sound, booooooring sex, and the aforementioned intro talk, not to mention the post-coital talk (That was nice dude, but I gotta get going, my girlfriend is gonna wonder where I'm at, see ya dude. What is the big turn-on with supposedly straight guys?? They look the same naked. They moan the same naked. I'm pretty damn sure once you're in them, they don't feel 20% better or anything!) are brainshatteringly stupid.

I sort of totally forgot where I'm going with this actually. I don't like Corbin Fisher videos. But some of their guys are sort of cute. As long as they don't talk. I wouldn't kick them out of bed I guess. Or out of the home gym. Though I'd still want a different set of sheets. In bed I mean, not in the gym.

Uh, maybe that's really all the point I was gonna make.