If you can take a dick, you can take a joke

Bob *zaz!* zegt:
and the autistic boy licked my face
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
after I told him to stop licking the other kids
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
he took it literally
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
and licked me
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
couldn't even punish the little weirdo

No, I don't hate autistic people, calm down everyone, take a deep breath and just allow it to be a little funny.

Today blew ass! And that basically makes no sense, because while there are many pleasant things to do to an ass (kick, lick, finger, fuck, maybe paint on it a little), blowing it seems kind of hard. I slept for 3 ff-ing hours (isn't it interesting how I have no problem writing 'fuck' but I get all coy about writing fucking?) , left for work at 5.30, worked till 18.45, had a flat tire, spent 4 hours getting home in the soaking rain, and tripped over the damn dog.

This week is gonna be hell. Each day has 70+ kids and it's going to rain all the time. After just one day I feel like I may need some medication. Or some weed. 75 kids bouncing off the walls, screaming, fighting, licking my face (well, just one of those), and making a mess. And on top of that I was ridden like a dog by a bunch of them. I know that sounds totally wrong, but I like to creep you out a little bit. Really, you give one kid a ponyback ride and all of a sudden there's 20 waiting in line.

I also got fired today. It was sort of weird, because Kelly, who does the administration, came up to me with this big smile and said "I have something for you to sign" and I look at it and it's a termination of my contract, making me unemployed from august 31st. So I gave her a weird look I guess, because she hurried to give me another paper, this one rehiring me from september 1st.

Seems a little pointless, but I was originally hired until january and they decided to keep me and since more people are leaving, they now gave me a contract of unlimited duration. Basically, unless I fuck up really badly, I can stay as long as I want. So yay, I have job security. Two other newbie colleagues were given new contracts, though oddly enough not unlimited ones, while we are still hiring two new people. My third newbie colleague is being fired, although she doesn't know that yet. I kind of wish my boss hadn't told me (and Katrijn, and a 9 year old who was sitting with us) that, because now I'll be working with her all week, knowing she's about to be fired and she'll just be happily plodding on. I kind of like her too, even.

Bob *zaz!* zegt:
she's a special kind, most definitely
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
though I got along with it
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
uh
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
her

Anywho, I guess the boss is happy with my work, so that's good. She also talked about giving me a little more to do, something about using my computer skills. I don't have a lot of computer skills, but it seems like I may still have the most that are available.

Good news from work. Also, kittens are adorable. Our 3 little ones are at the cutest cats ever get. Wide-eyed, crawling around the house, peeping, wrestling, scratching with their bow-legged little paws, they're so cute you could die. This is why they don't sell cats until they're 8 weeks old. If you saw them the weeks before, everything after just has to be dissapointing, there is just no way they will ever, ever be this adorable again.

Since we have both become unhealthily obsessed with Stephen Lynch:

Bob *zaz!* zegt:
I think I have a crush
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
on a celebrity
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
I never met
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
that's never happened to me before
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
oh dear, I'm a 12 year old girl
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
I must meet him
Deemer / I kill with my heart zegt:
meet him or do him?
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
you provide the rohypnol while I search for his adress
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
well, meet first, do later
Deemer / I kill with my heart zegt:
I'd just skip the meet bit
Deemer / I kill with my heart zegt:
more time for do
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
myeah, but the rohypnol would need to be administered
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
hmm, maybe that's not the way a 12 year old girl would go about it
Bob *zaz!* zegt:
good, I'm just an adult gay pervert

Rens and me have been youtubing a lot of the Comedy Central stand-up comedy and we came across some really good ones. Worth mentioning is this guy, who also gave me the title for today. Carlos Mencia has two full shows on youtube, one of which you can find here. He's rude, he has a funny accent, he's rude, he insults everyone (the other show you can find has him doing impressions of the mentally disabled) and he's not someone I'd like to meet. Despite all this, you will feel ashamed at how hard you laugh at his obnoxious, racist, sexist routine.

Also, I went out with Kevin and Kenneth this weekend (and afterwards just Kevin) and we ended up all over the place, inluding a very hot and crowded D-Club, where I ran into my niece who is apparantly Fag Hagging since she became single again, so that was funny. Kevin and me had some heavy ass conversations, and also met a guy, who was rather nice, and after Kevin left, me and him talked until the wee hours of the morning, and then got kicked out and talked more someplace else. It was really a very nice thing to do. Before anyone (like some people already have) goes off shoothing little hearts at me: no, it's nothing like that, he's nice, I think he may be interested, but I'm not at that place at all yet. The word relationship right now still sort of makes me feel cramps and a stab to the heart followed by an unpleasant dizziness.

But hey, drunk conversations all night with a nice boy are not bad under any circumstances. And after sobering up, we also went to drag Kevin outside and have breakfast and the 3 of us had a good old time. All in all, it was a pretty good weekend, much better than anticipated.

Uh, yeah, I've been off my habit lately, so lemme just throw in : Jessica Simpson is an overestimated skank with weird lips and and IQ that is shadowed slightly by that of an inbred bastard dog who suffered from oxigen deprivation because the umbilical cord was wrapped around its neck.

Just so you don't forget.

G'night y'all!