I'm surprisingly adept at Podsnappery

This post shall be all about me me me! For those not interested, scroll all the way down and who knows, I might offend Jessica Simpson, though at this time that seems rather like beating a dead horse, which was raped by angry midgets post-mortem, with a very large pointy stick.

Some may have wondered why I have not updated so long (I know who you are, you asked me in person) and the answer is surprisingly bland. I am a man, or something approximating said man, of many quirky habits. Unfortunately, my habits tend to control me more than I control them. Over the course of the years, I pick up more and more habits, and once these are incorporated in my daily routine, they are almost impossible to eradicate.

I think I have already mentioned my obsessive erasing of messages and call registries on phones, and my refusal to type anything in the adress space on my web browser. Other stellar examples include my method of eating (potatoes first, then vegetables, meat last, exceptions made for meat in cubes or when the side dish is rice or fries) and the fact that I can't shave in front of a mirror (and I much prefer the lights to be off whilst shaving).

Anywho, how this relates to the previously asked question, by which I mean, the question I myself asked and no other: this same habitual compulsiveness goes for my internet use. I visit the same sites every single day, without fault (all stored in my favourites of course, since I don't type in my adress space, but you probably got that already) and I only visit new ones if a link is provided, thus enabling me to simply click it.

However! Once I have not visited a particular website for a day, due to some fluke, like server down, or a lack of time, they immediatly drop out of my routine. Sure, they're still there, right there in my list of favourites, but I do not click them. The more I realise that I'm not clicking them, the more I begin to abhor the idea of clicking them, eventually leading to a veritable disgust with said website. This is why I haven't read any webcomics in the last 3 months (and I do so like webcomics *sniff*), haven't seen my OkCupid profile (ok, not too sad about that, though they had a good quiz every once in a while) and I don't even remember what my LM.eu account looks like... Or if it's really called an LM.eu account. Could be LNM.be for all I know. But I have more affinity with LM.eu, if you say it really fast it sounds like Lemou, which is what I imagine a French-Canadian cow would sound like. I should ask Siska if that's true. Are there even any French-Canadian cows? Maybe they're just imported European cows. Then again, all French-Americans are basically imported Europeans. I'm getting just a tad off track here.

Anyway, my sudden return here was subsequently an ardous ordeal, mostly accomplished by a few glasses of wine, an ever imploring Kevin and a well-timed convo with Siska (as you already know). And since my habitual syndrome also works the other way, this website is now back on my dailies list, so unless something knocks it out again, I should probably update regularly. Though be it a little less enthused, because really, J-Simp has done such a good job making an ass of herself, that my heart just isn't in it as much anymore. With Lohan in rehab, Reid somewhat cleaned up half of the time and Nicole Richie no longer skinnier than my childhood pet hamster which starved tragically in the cold winter of 1999 (for which I do still feel ever so guilty, don't judge me!), there's really only Paris and Britney left and that sort of brings me back to my beating a sodomised dead horse statement: what's the ff-ing point?

Anyways, since hope springs eternal, I might still get the taste for it again, and besides, isn't Dakota Fanning due to succumb to 'child-stars-always-become-raging-coke-whores (see: Lohan Lindsay; MacCauley, Culkin; Osmond, Haley Joel; Olsen, Mary-Kate and/or Ashley, it's not like I can tell for sure) syndrome? Like I said, hope springs eternal.

So without further ado: Jessica Simpson's saggy breasts. Yeah... Oh God, it's just too sad and mundane.

At least it's Oscar season, so I'll have some nice things to say about Meryl Streep before she returns to whatever shrine the tabloids use to keep the respectable aging actresses of the world (see: Sarandon, Susan; Close, Glenn; Barkin, Ellen; excluded are Stone, Sharon; Moore Demi and others).

Ow, right, for the title reference, Podsnappery is something out of "Our Mutual Friend" by Charles Dickens, definitely worth a read.