I can double entendre with the best of 'm

Bob *Fancy Man* zegt:
*cue Bob shredding his brasiere, uncovering his plump and succulent nipples whilst moaning the kind of no that means 'ravish me'*
Enrique *Twirl your ta'ta's zegt:
seriously, you should write porn
Bob *Fancy Man* zegt:
I've been told before, but I fear I have a handicap
Enrique *Twirl your ta'ta's zegt:
being?
Bob *Fancy Man* zegt:
I have a distaste for the orgasm. Not as a thing of its own (not at all!) but more of a descriptive nature
Enrique *Twirl your ta'ta's zegt:
aha... not all porn must end with buckets of cum
Bob *Fancy Man* zegt:
I have a lot of porn and I know for a fact that's not true
Enrique *Twirl your ta'ta's zegt:
lol, you can make the difference
Bob *Fancy Man* zegt:
Hmm, a mission in life would be nice. I was going for 'cure cancer', but 'make cum-free porn' does sound easier

To be really late with stuff: Britney finally lost it completely, and I don't just mean her hair. Anna Nicole died, and the only thing weirder than her life turns out to be everything coming after it. Jessica Simpson changed hair colours and I was all ready to swallow my pride and say it looks rather good on her, but then she did this and that's just more than I can stomach. Paris turned 26 and partied while looking like Flame Boy ejaculated on her chest.

And the Oscars came and went, though I didn't watch. In all the coverage I've read, I didn't see a single picture of Meryl Streep. Did they not let her out this year? Maybe the sorta-hot-for-their-age grey-haired actress quota was full with the boobalicious Helen Mirren (seriously, I remember seeing her and her pendulous breasts in Caligula and she looks ten times better now, roughly 30 times later)

Yeah, I'd go on and post links and stuff, but my mum needs the PC and she's sort of glowering at me. Bye!