There's no reason not to be confused!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005



Yup, it's my birthday!

I'm fricking 23 years old. I remember when Kevin & Kenneth turned 23 and I thought: gosh, they're getting old. And now I'm old too. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Anyways, I promise to do a real update one of these days, I've just been busy.

Ta

Saturday, October 22, 2005


Well hello there.

I just jumped ship from over at skynet, since Karo and others seem to enjoy these surroundings much more. I must say I like what I've seen so far. Now if only someone *cough* Karo *cough* would help me fix up this thing so it looks all puuuurty, I'll be delighted.



I could bother to introduce myself, but I suggest those who feel the overwhelming need to know more about me go see my previous blog at http://bobster.skynetblogs.be . I haven't updated it in a while so I guess I should give a little update right here. Or a lotta update.



Uhm, I've worked a little at a supermarket (only like 3 days, filling in for someone who was ill) and that was dull , oh so dull. I spent most of my time aligning products on the shelves. Basically I had to make sure all the shelves looked fully loaded, by pulling products to the front and placing them all neatly next to each other. It is the modern day equivalent of Sisyphus' labour, since the second you finish an isle, people have already started disturbing your work. After four hours of this, I came very near to cat food canning an old lady that managed to knock over whole stacks of preserves. Bitch



Ow yeah, Enig Verschil (www.enigverschil.be) the organisation I have the pleasure of coordinating had elections last month and I was re-elected for another year, quite pleased with that. I'm looking forward to the new year, even though this one is a bit rocky at the ending.



It's almost my birthday as well, I'll be 23 come tuesday and to celebrate I'm going out to dinner with a bunch of friends. A lot more people than I expected have already let me know they will be attending so that's real nice :) My niece and her boyfriend are coming as well.



My family has never been very close and me and my nieces have rarely seen each other. Last time I saw the youngest one was about 6 years ago. But Nathalie, her older sister, started coming by to visit my grandma, my brother and me a couple of months ago and she invited us over to her place and all. Since I barely have any family (that I actually talk to) I'm not going to pass up the opportunity of getting to know her. She seems real nice too, so I'm glad she'll be along with us. Now I just hope my friends don't freak her out :p



Speaking of that: during our visit, me and my brother went outside for a cigarette and he informed me my father is dying. That was surprising (though it shouldn't be, the way he carries on, it's a miracle he's still around). According to Sam, he's now developed an addiction to speed on top of being a raging drunk. Really, what a thing to start at his age... He also had some kind of chemical accident at work and now he's in pretty bad shape. I always sort of wondered how I'd feel when this moment came and it wasn't what I expected. I wasn't sad. I wasn't glad he's on his way out. I was just surprised. I managed to think only two very deep thoughts: "Well gee, when I was 12, he was so anti-drugs" and "I wonder if he got skinny."



On the other hand, I have been thinking of going to visit him. Despite the fact that I haven't seen the man in years, that he's an awful father and not a pleasant human being in general, I seem to feel some sort of obligation to at least go talk to him. The main reason I'm not is simply that it wouldn't do any good. He'd probably even be pissed about it. The other reason is that I'm not sure if I could even forgive him for all the crap he put us through. And why go see a dying man if you can only tell him how much you resent him? I'm not thát nasty... On top of that, he doesn't want forgiveness. Or better: he doesn't think there's anything that needs to be forgiven. Ah well, maybe it's not even an issue. Us Vervloets are a strong breed, usually outliving expectations (okay, we go senile and spent our last decade in piss and spit, but still) and we tend to pull trough the most dire situations. I suppose we are like weeds in a flower bed.



The biggest change in my situation (next to my mother's financial status and having to get a job to pay for school next year) would be that Tim and me got back together. I'm not really sure when I decided that, I suppose I got sick of trying to make myself believe I hated him :p Because despite everything, I love the boy deeply and once I admitted that to him, I felt a lot better. We didn't get together right away, it was more of a "we'll see what happens" kind of thing. But now we are and it feels better than last time. Of course we still have stupid fights, we're us, we'll have stupid fights until the day one of us drops dead of an embolysm. But so far no one's freaked out in an insane way and that's much of an improvement :) I'd like to take it a little slow, not like last time, and there are some things I'm more careful of, like making sure I still have some time alone every few days, and time for my friends and all, but he seems to understand that this time around. I'm hopeful. And that's a lot better than what I was before all this :)



More on that some other time, for an opening blog this thing is long enough already :)



Oeh, I'll include this picture of Tim, Karolien (http://konijntjes.blogspot.com) , me, Cathy & Nadine at the "Good Bad Party" (sorry, English translation is sort of hard). Karo and me went to the second hand store to pick up outfits for us, Cathy & Tim. Nadine just raided her granmother's closet :) Don't we look just smashing...